Transition is defined as "the process or period of changing from one state or condition to another" (Oxford Languages online).

Wow, 2021 is definitely starting out with a few transitions. I (Misty) was let go from my other job due to company downsizing and COVID restrictions. All I could think about were the projects and people I would be leaving behind, and what the #*@$ am I going to do now. And then my skills made their way through my emotion mind.

What was your last transition? Did you notice it? A transition may be as subtle as leaving work at 5pm, washing dishes after dinner, selecting a new show to binge (OMG Bridgerton on Netflix) or more complex such as changing jobs, disengaging from relationships, or starting new healthy habits. We start experiencing transition as children as a way of learning about time and task management (bed time, tv time, school time, play time, clean up, etc). Some people may need ongoing support around life transitions for various reasons. 

Would you like to have a skill or two to help you navigate your next transition? 

The mindfulness skills of "How" and "What" can help you ground during the more difficult transitions. This improves the experience as well as the outcome. You can also use these skills for daily transitions to enrich your connection to self and others.

I recommend watching the happiness scene in the video linked below, "About Time". These skills guide you to care for yourself and see the transition for what it is - a moment - a change - an opportunity.

"How" skills are like DBT spirit guides that foster and teach a sense of being non-judgmental (of self, others, and the events), one-mindful (staying present without distraction or avoidance), and effective (see it through as completely as possible at this time).

"What" skills are an order of operations (you may remember the technique of PEMDAS, from grade school math, to remember mathematical order of operations - link below if you want to know more). You do each step keeping in mind the "How" skills.

• First, you "Observe" (one-mindfully, non-judgmentally, and effectively), which informs you of who, what, and how is transitioning. This could be you, people around you, traffic, etc.
• Next, you "Describe" (using the guides) what is specifically transitioning without blame or shame or labels (I still struggle not using my favorite 4-letter words).
• Finally, you "Participate" in the transition. I mean, it's happening with or without you, so why not have you in the driver seat as much as possible for your moment.

By this time you may be feeling calmer, thinking clearer, and ready to say or do something with the knowledge, wisdom, or resources to make the best of the transition.

So bring it 2021!

Our team at Hope for Healing Counseling is ready to help you through transitions with skill development.

About Time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVm8NnUzbXk&list=RDYVm8NnUzbXk&index=1 

PEMDAS https://www.mathsisfun.com/operation-order-pemdas.html   (just in case you need to help your kids with math homework).  ;-)

​Post contribution by Misty Andersen

​Ever heard or said "New Year - New Me." Traditionally, this phrase means setting resolutions to start/ stop or add/ lose something for growth. Did you set a resolution for 2020? How did you do? I started and lost a few, and kept one even during pandemic. I'm ready for a do over. Let's really try something new this year by changing resolution into intentional goals using skills.

A favorite DBT skill and a beautiful gift for your new year is Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is the ability to accept ourselves (and others) for who we are, where we are, and how we got to this point. No, you probably don't like this reality. Yes, it is your reality. Take a breath or two here because knowing your reality gives you the power to start making your changes. Here, we can decide what we need to effectively move forward as our best self: Right now, Today, in 5 days, 60 days, or by this time next year.

This is also how goal setting works. First - know where you are, how you are, who surrounds you, and what are your current resources. Second - identify what & when are you working toward (goal for today, a 30-day goal, or 2 year plan). Finally - start effectively gathering, learning, and taking action toward your goals. 

Healthy and balanced growth needs the authentic you. Acceptance does not mean approval. It means this is the real me and the real moment so now what? Practice accepting a past moment without judgment "yep, I did that and I will/ will not do ____ again." Every step teaches you something.  Now practice accepting the present moment; "okay, so here I am and I need ___, so what do I do now." Some moments are easier to accept an others may need a little time or support. But, now you know the who, what, and how of moving forward.

We wish you the brightest and best of 2021 and Now is another amazing starting moment. Let's grow together.

​Contribution by Misty Andersen